Are you there god?

It's me, Jen. Yes, I know. I don't actually believe in you and if I were religious, I think I would be Buddhist since they are the least hypocritical of all the religions but I digress. I am the worst kind of "believer" - the one that calls on you only in her selfish time of need which is right now.

Maybe a sense of hypocrisy would come in handy right now. You see, I can't afford another dog but I have spent hours on petfinder lately, looking for one. I don't really have a big enough yard but surely I will be leaving this suburban hell soon? Right? Right??? Listen up god. I'm not done yet. Then there's the whole "amount of work a puppy involves" issue. But they grow out of that.

See, you can't even get a word in edgewise.

And then there's the compassion and all the things you preach about helping those in need. Well these guys need help and a loving home. All of which I can provide. I know what you said about not coveting things but I can't help it. It's not like they are my neighbor's spouse. Who wouldn't covet such adorable bundles of snowy white fur. The idea of having not only a playmate for the polar bear but also a puppy who started off as a relative blank slate (yes, I'm even going all creationist on you which is unheard of for me) and which I can raise to be a healthy, well socialized dog is hard to resist. Sigh. A dog whose only issues are the ones I give him. So what say you? Tell me you can't look down from above and give me your blessing!

Alright, so I don't have much to offer you except the pleasure of seeing me fight with my inner demons who satanically puts images of one of those puppies on my bed, in my car, in puppy class with me etc. etc. etc. What do you think? god? god?

He never listens when I am talking to him. That's how I know he's a he. Readers, what say you?

One of these

Or one of these

Speak to me people! After all, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Whew. I am out of religious metaphors. But I still want a puppy.