Today, I started my newest assignment from Dr. Sung, the behaviorist. I found some great audio websites that played tool sounds, crowd sounds, rain sounds and best of all, golf sounds. I then played them back to Xeno at low volumes and gave him tiny pieces of cheese as he listened. When he no longer seems distraught at a certain volume, I increase the volume and continue with the tasty treats. Hopefully this will help desensitize and counter condition him to the myriad noises that cause him distress. With all the sounds but the golf club sound, he was nervous but could keep himself under control. The golf club sounds terrify him. Part of my challenge is trying to figure out exactly what it is he hears on walks for example, that scare him. If only this dog could talk. He is so hard to figure out and so veiled. The only thing I know for sure is when he is scared. I will also be starting up more of the T Touch again which I confess I have been lazy about. Our work never ends...
In addition to his psychological issues, his poor little weenie does not seem to have benefited from my devotion to the vet's protocol. He is still licking and he should be recovered by now. He is due for some blood tests as well as his rabies shot and to my great dismay, he was very lame in his right rear leg last night. My mom and I have noticed him favoring it slightly on his walks but despite my intense examinations, I could find nothing wrong. However, last night he stood up and would not even touch the ground with his foot. I again examined his whole leg, pads, nails and toes minutely and could find nothing that caused him pain and he did in fact put his foot down after that and lie down. It seems as though a tendon or something moves periodically and causes him pain so I made yet another vet appointment for a week from now. They will unfortunately have to sedate him because the vet cannot adequately examine him otherwise. If she tries to touch him or examine his rear legs, he sits and he is utterly immovable if he sits. Furthermore, if you try to stand him up or lift him, he is consumed with terror. So we shall have to do everything all at once.
My mom and I tried to lift him into her car one day several weeks ago as he would not jump in, suspecting I was going to leave him. I tried to pick up his front end and put his front feet on the back of the car and truly, I have never seen an animal so terrified in my life. It was heartbreaking. My mom said it was the first time she knew what it meant to see that kind of fear in an animal's eyes. He did not growl, snap at or bite me and I know he desperately wants to trust me but cannot yet overcome whatever came before. He simply melted into the pavement and became dead weight, as though he expected to be hurt or killed. It was awful.
I immediately stopped what I was doing of course and was finally able to get him into the car by sitting in the back and once he realized I wasn't going to leave him, he jumped in of his own accord. This incident leads me to believe he was picked up and thrown at some point as he allows me to groom him and examine all parts of him without fear but is terrified of arms being put around him and the sensation of being lifted. I am convinced that whatever came before us, it was far beyond mere neglect. That he has never tried to bite or lash out is even more extraordinary given the circumstances.
During my lying in as I like to think of it, I have been reading voraciously since I never watch TV. I would highly recommend this honest, poignant account by a man who was a boy soldier in Sierra Leone. While I have read some books on Liberia, I was not very familiar with the story of Sierra Leone and I now understand it far better. What this young man has overcome is incredible and the book is very well written:
In a whole different genre, I picked up Stone's Fall, by Iain Pears, best known for Instance of a Fingerpost which is also an excellent read. Pears writes very intricate murder mystery books and while that has never been my favorite genre mostly because they remind me of work, he does a fantastic job of plotting and setting his books in vibrant historical places and times. I never thought I could be so enthralled with financial studies but I finished this 600+ page book in 3 days and you will too!
Finally, in the category of "requires the IQ of gravel to read" and that's mostly just to keep those infernal counts and dukes straight, I gobbled up the latest Sharon Kay Penman book, Devil's Brood which is a very engaging, detailed historical novel of Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine and the chaos they wrought by having children (something I wish my neighbors had considered before they had their screaming, tantrum prone daughter). Penman somehow makes you wish you lived in the 12th century despite intellectually knowing that unless you were a king or queen, life, in a word, sucked and the lack of sanitation would have made me throw myself off the bailey walls. But anyway, for an easy read that also fills you in on a fascinating time in British history, this book is well worth it.
So those are the most recent books on my table. Since most of you are actually gainfully employed, raising children and not living off the fat of the city, I will hold off on the remainder of my literary ventures!
Finally, the saga of the kittens is not over. The Peanut Gallery can silence themselves - I am immune! I began searching on petfinder for kittens with special needs (because, you know, Xeno isn't enough) thinking it would be ideal for him to have a companion to look out for. I found this adorable kitten, Dexter, who I am going to go see on Saturday. After much research into cerebellar hypoplasia, I have no concerns about caring for him. They are just like other cats but their balance is off. He is a baby, he is orange and he is just what I was looking for! I cannot resist an animal in need so I would say Dexter will likely next be seen in a few photographs in my home in the near future :)
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