Free to Good Home

One female owner. Feeds regularly, pets regularly and spends ridiculous amounts of money on toys and goodies for her pets. She comes with one large house and a medium sized fenced yard. However, she is known to bathe her pets and then take photos of them in their misery.

Oh so you think is funny?

Thus we, the pets, have decided to find her a more appropriate home. Like jail. We believe she will respond to positive reinforcement if you use chocolate. Please fill out the attached adoption questionnaire and we will be in touch. Thank you.

Yes friends, I did bathe the kitties yesterday. It was Mother's Day after all and they did not get me anything, the ungrateful little wretches so I decided if I am going to live with them, they'd better be clean and they have never had baths before. Even the Polar Bear had a bath but he loves his bath. He is my good child. The kitties on the other hand - WAR. Dexter could only protest vocally since he isn't coordinated enough with his disease to launch an attack from a slippery surface. Heck, he can't even walk on a dry surface.

I scream, therefore I am.

So he wailed and wailed and when I got him out and wrapped him in the towel, he took grave offense to the Polar Bear who was watching with a big grin on his face.

What are you lookin' at buddy?

Dexter told PB to just wait til they are alone in the house again when I go back to work. When PB least expects it...

Then there was Stabitha. She DOES have the ability to launch an attack and she lived up to her name in a way I didn't know was possible. I have the marks which will eventually be scars, to prove it!

Have I mentioned that I *HATE* you?

The funny part was that I did Dexter first so when I returned him to their room and put him on the bed, Stabby seemed to think it was pretty funny what happened to him.

What the hell happened to YOU?

It didn't take long for her to find out. Even the PB went flying outside when she started her offensive.

Hahahahahahaha! Not laughing so much now, are we?

They were filthy and I mean, *filthy* little creatures. I should have bathed them the day I brought them home from the shelter but I didn't want to traumatize them any further.

I present you with the hairy eyeball.

Dexie was a monster and wouldn't pose for my pictures. I was kind of miffed but he told if I wanted to live through the day, I'd suck it up and post Stabby instead.

I will never look at you again. Did I mention I *HATE* you?

PB and I are still laughing....but from a safe distance. And yes, the kitties dried in about an hour and seemed none the worse for the wear despite their accusations of alleged abuse and attempts to give me away.