Shapes

Remind me where I live again? This is what my yard looked like for about 2 weeks. It has since melted but as of about 2 hours ago, worked itself up into another blizzard again. It will take a lot though to challenge the photo. The dogs and I miss the snow and we had a fabulous time in it. Hudson didn't think it necessary to take one step past the door to pee. Evidently the sight of all the snow made him forget that the yard is indeed, where it always has been and not on the deck. Once done with his business, he promptly turned on his dainty heels and raced back onto the sofa. Xeno (yes, I have decided for sure, once and for all, not to be swayed again, that this is his name.) had to be peeled off the deck and dragged inside every night. He made himself a nice den right in the corner next to the flower barrel in the photo and was in blissful Maremma heaven. He is completely impervious to the cold and while the snow was gone showed no interest in staying out there as he did when it looked like the midwest. Now that it is snowing again, he is standing by the door whining pathetically to go out.

But I digress...
During the snow deluge, I took Xeno to the dog park at 0700 every day after work when it was still dark and cold and crystalline with the biting wind. He would race in ecstasy through all 5 acres of the park, alone but for him and me. His every expression exuded joy as he waded through the snow drifts, skittered across the ice of the puddles and kicked up his feet, tail flowing behind him. I vow to move to a place that is rural and gets lots of snow sometime during his lifetime. His happiness is contagious.

We had no encounters with anyone during those weeks and it was a great relief for both of us I think. He has continued to sporadically growl and bark at people, far more so men then women but sometimes he does not discriminate. His body language is ambivalent. His tail will be up and wagging, his weight back in a defensive pose but his hackles will be up, his commisure working its way forward and I read marginal fear in his approach. With diligent work, I have been able to get him to look to me for a treat as soon as he sees a stranger although we still fall off the wagon every once in awhile. I have also since taught him to wear a head halter, target my hands which he is very solid on, wait reliably as long as I want him to, "find it" which is not solid and "watch me". I have also solidified heel finally which required a great deal of an itchy trigger finger waiting to click and treat, shaping him slowly back to me. Although he walks beautifully on a loose leash, I wanted to have the heel if needed.

As his "shaping" has progressed and he is taking on more of the final behaviors I am seeking, I am also being shaped. For all those that know me, I think there would be mutual agreement that I am generally moving as fast as possible, always busy, always efficient and impatient with those who aren't. My how that's changed! I have reached levels of patience I never aspired to. Just as with his shaping, though it is almost imperceptible if you look for it, over time it becomes clearer and more obvious. I discovered this when I was assigned a student to train at work. There was a time when I would have had to tie myself to my car to stop myself from taking over from them and doing things my way, read: fast, thorough and to the point. On a recent call, it took over an hour to take a statement that would have taken me 15 minutes to take. But I stood by, calmly and serenely thanking the fates that brought that big white dog into my life and taught me that all will come in good time. I'm sure my student was thanking him too!

Although I was initially skeptical of the claims in all my myriad dog books, that you will change fundamentally and grow with your dog, particularly a dog like Xeno, I have to concede that they were correct. I think it fundamentally impossible to rehabilitate a dog like him without changing yourself. So in my moments of incredible frustration and wishing for a GSD who would gaze adoringly at me waiting for my next command, I remember how much Xeno has taught me. I am far more likely to take into account what an animal has to say than a person!

Xeno is a puzzle which constantly challenges me to decode him. I got out an old lamp my grandfather made me and the bulb is bare and points directly up. This causes definite, noticeable shadows on the ceiling. I have noticed for some time that Xeno is wary of, if not terrified of, shadows, particularly those on the ceiling. I realized yesterday that it is not all shadows but is limited to a human shape that moves. I stood up and he fled to the hall way staring in terror at my moving shadow on the ceiling and wall. I can only surmise that when he was locked in the barn, it was dark and the only time he saw light was when The Guy opened the door, causing shadows to appear on the walls and ceiling and portending bad things about to happen. So I leave the light on now, with the shadows and always allowing him a place to escape to until he realizes that they do not always mean pain and fear are imminent. I suspect too, that part of his fear of M's husband and tall men in general is that they make bigger, more defined shadows and/or they look like shadows themselves as they are closer to the ceiling. I think he also does better outside where there are no shadows and they don't move menacingly and unpredictably around the walls.

Interestingly, I had my little sister through Big Brothers/Big Sisters over last week. I thought she would be little threat and he would adjust quickly as she is a child and female. Alas, I have never seen him so worked up and terrified since I have had him. As with many children (and the reason she is in the program to begin with), Hannah cannot control her movements, her behaviour or her voice. No matter how much coaching, explaining or warning I gave her, she was completely incapable of monitoring herself. To Xeno, she was a loud, totally unpredictable, scary whirling dervish. Although I thought it would be good practice for her to learn self-discipline and self-control, I am not willing to teach her that at the expense of Xeno's mental health nor do I want to set him back in all that we have worked for. Thus he will go to my parents' if Hannah comes over or we will not come to my house in the future.

Which brings me to my last "worthy of mention" episode. I attended an hour long seminar at a highly regarded training school in Seattle called Ahimsa. The seminar was called "Your 'Fraidy Dog" and I thought the more info' I soak up, the better. We were invited to bring our dog or if the class was too much, leave them at home. Needless to say, I left Xeno at home since I wasn't familiar with the setting and didn't want him to be in a bad situation or disrupt class. There were 6 people in the class. Two brought dogs. In pranced the happiest, most relaxed dogs you've ever seen. Said hello to everyone, each other, sat nicely and I stared in amazement. I asked if I was in the right class. I asked if they left their fearful dogs at home and brought their normal dogs. They all insisted their dogs were terribly fearful dogs "normally". I stifled a laugh. The class, while good, was a waste of money for me because it covered the bare basics which I have been immersed in for months. I think I could have taught the class but I understand they are teaching to the lowest common denominator and based on some of the questions that were asked, I would say that was a good way to approach it.

One of the people who brought their dog said the dog was "fearful" of people who come to the front door because he barks. Huh? Most dogs I know bark when someone comes to the front door. Training issue, not a fear issue. I began to regret not bringing Xeno and I know the instructor regretted I didn't as well because after she spoke with me, she said she would have liked to have shown the attendees what a truly fearful dog looks like. I explained that my dog is terrified of rain or water dripping onto leaves when he's outside. If there is no other sound and that is all he can hear, he freezes and is paralyzed at the sound of the "drip, drip" onto leaves. Refer to previous paragraph in which I talk about my growing patience! It took us weeks to figure out that trigger. He did it to my mom, freezing while she walked him and she finally figured it out. I now know that when he freezes on a walk, if I listen I can almost always hear the dripping water somewhere. When I broached this issue in class, one of the attendees said I should "put him down or move to Arizona". I was speechless and stared at her in horror. Fortunately a very savvy assistant instructor suggested I could desensitize him to it by turning a sprinkler on low when it hadn't been raining and work up which was an excellent suggestion and one I hadn't thought of. So we will be trying that and avoiding large seminars!

In the meantime, let it snow! It is the best psychological remedy for Xeno that I have found as yet...